Tonight I felt terrible. I had an awful headache, I was tired and I just needed my husband to be here and help me. I served up a super nutritious (sense the sarcasm) dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches, ham rolled to look like sushi and veggie straws. I just felt too bad to actually cook a meal. After that we threw some cookies in the oven only because my 6 year old, Gunner, begged to bake his teachers some goodies and I didn't have the energy or honestly the give a dang to say no. Even though he said they were for his teachers there were somehow three cookies that magically vanished into thin air. Mama was just tired. I think that is a good definition of a coach's wife who is also a Mama. We are just TIRED.
I sat at my kitchen bar tonight to write my very first blog which is totally out of my comfort zone completely but I feel like there are a lot of coach's wives out there who can relate to me. So, I sat with my notebook writing this blog at the bar in my kitchen watching my oldest son Gunner pull my youngest son Griffin (my 7 month old) around in his walker. Gunner had managed to tie my house robe string to the walker and was pulling him around the house like he was walking a dog on a leash. Life with boys is crazy everyday so walking your little brother on a leash seems completely normal to me. As I sat there watching my wild boys run by it got me thinking. I NEVER wanted to be a coach's wife. EVER. I never wanted my husband to miss out on all this crazy.
I never pictured myself basically alone all spring and alot of the fall.
I never saw myself trying to budget this hard when my husband works at least 70 hours, sometimes 80 hours a week teaching and coaching. I think we are negative 50 cent per hour for all the time and effort he puts into coaching.
I never saw myself soaking and scrubbing red mud out of brand new white uniforms because after my husband washed them twice he still needed help getting the stains out to keep them looking new.
I never knew how lonely a coach's wife's life could be when I said "I do" almost 8 years ago.
I never saw myself having to comfort a 6 year old and remind him how much his Daddy adores and loves him while he is sobbing because his Daddy couldn't answer him when he called him through facetime tonight.
I never saw a house that is a wreck 80% of the time or the endless pile of laundry that never seems to get done because I just don't have any time to devote to cleaning because I devote myself to my role as a Mama and trying to fill Jerry's role when he is away which is a big role to try to fill because he is a great Daddy.
I never saw myself juggling as much as I do now.
It's funny how God has bigger plans than you do for your life. I am so thankful he laughed at the plans I had for myself and put me in this role. The role I never knew I wanted, the role I never knew could be this fulfilling. I never thought I would marry a man who is striving to raise leaders of men in today's world. A man who is more than just a coach, one who loves his players as his own. One who makes sure they have what they need even when they can't afford it and knowing it will come from our own personal pocket. I never knew I could marry a man who makes me beam with pride like my husband. I see his efforts for the team. He teaches, mentors, holds them accountable, makes them tougher, shows how to keep a good work ethic and to not just think of themselves but to think of their team and remember they are one unit together. So, I thank the Lord for placing Jerry in the role he was always meant to be in as first a father and second a head baseball coach. So, as a coach's wife am I worn down, tired and ran ragged? Ha, more than you could imagine actually I feel like that ALL THE DANG TIME!!! But, I am thankful for this hectic life style.
I never wanted to be a coach's wife but God knew his plan for me before I ever had a clue. He prepared me and I cling to his word. I strive to support this life and I'll always be Jerry Lee's biggest fan.
-Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper who is just right for him."-
Genesis 2:18
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